Showing posts with label what people like to call international development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what people like to call international development. Show all posts
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Sunday, 8 August 2010
A month on...ANXIETY
It's been a month since my previous post. I have spent most of my time trying to finish my dissertation. It's been a slower process than I expected and with the heat and the attention span of a 2-year-old it hasn't been that easy to concentrate.
I'm also getting to that stage where I am starting to get anxious about finding work and being okay financially. I had a job interview about two weeks ago but didn't get what would have been an interesting and amazing job that I think I could have done pretty well.
And I'm just starting to PANIC. I don't know whether in addition to looking for paid work I should try and apply for an internship somewhere, or just do some volunteer work here. That is, if I want to work in International Development, whatever the hell that means. Another part of me wants to isolate myself and just try and write a little bit more.
I get anxious when I hear about people doing this and that and living their dreams and reaching their goals. If they're people I know, I'm happy for them of course. But at the same time I worry about when I'll be brave enough to recognise my dreams and go after them. I wish I had a clear idea about what I wanted to do and just went for it.
I also get anxious when I read about devastating events in the world. Most recently I've been reading about the floods in Pakistan. I get frustrated and angry with things like that happening to a country that's already gone through so much hardship.
I want to do something but I feel helpless and -more than helpless- scared.
I'm also getting to that stage where I am starting to get anxious about finding work and being okay financially. I had a job interview about two weeks ago but didn't get what would have been an interesting and amazing job that I think I could have done pretty well.
And I'm just starting to PANIC. I don't know whether in addition to looking for paid work I should try and apply for an internship somewhere, or just do some volunteer work here. That is, if I want to work in International Development, whatever the hell that means. Another part of me wants to isolate myself and just try and write a little bit more.
I get anxious when I hear about people doing this and that and living their dreams and reaching their goals. If they're people I know, I'm happy for them of course. But at the same time I worry about when I'll be brave enough to recognise my dreams and go after them. I wish I had a clear idea about what I wanted to do and just went for it.
I also get anxious when I read about devastating events in the world. Most recently I've been reading about the floods in Pakistan. I get frustrated and angry with things like that happening to a country that's already gone through so much hardship.
I want to do something but I feel helpless and -more than helpless- scared.
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